January was a long year.
A new administration, wildfires in LA and a plane crash. If that is what 2025 has in store for us, I know I’m not alone in experiencing increased anxiety wondering what else is ahead. If you find yourself longing for the days when the idea of a New Year sparked excitement and optimism, you are not alone. Gone are the times where we relied on the fresh and clean slate that January typically promised.
I find myself struggling with the threat of change in ways I am unprepared for, as well as the anticipation of stagnancy within other circumstances. I immediately consider what “survival mode” means and attempt to access my internal strengths and learned coping skills, unsure if they are “healthy,” appropriate or acceptable for a working mom and partner. For me this looks like enjoying desserts more often without feelings of guilt, binge watching a show on Netflix or listening to songs that take me back to a simpler time, like the 2000’s when my biggest concern was balancing a social life with the demands of high school academics.
I am working towards creating space for self-compassion in these unchartered times. There is no play book on how to navigate today’s current events, both as a professional as well as an individual in this thing we call life. Still, I forge ahead with somewhat of an imposter syndrome on both fronts, hoping to join with others doing the same. This feels extremely validating and void of judgement; and I find that I feel less alone in this time of uncertainty.
When I think about what I want to remember when I think about this time of my life 10, 20 or 30 years from now…I hope to be able to say I did what was necessary for my physical and mental health…my overall wellbeing. I relied on my support system…I sought therapy…I ate the ice cream…I laughed, I took a break, I deep breathed, I cried, I just, existed…and that was “good enough.”
It can be difficult to allow space for yourself in ways that feel fulfilling, and yet also perhaps not “meaningful,” in the eyes of another. This can require an internal strength that I myself do not always possess, but that allows for an unapologetic presence. To experience a sense of peace and acceptance that fuels us to keep going when we experience defeat or discouragement is to know true emotional freedom. This is much easier said than done of course, spoken from experience.
Despite the initial sentiment of this post, I do have hope for 2025. Maybe not consistently, but I am hopeful in what I am doing to create joy for myself, in a world where that may feel fleeting and unrealistic. What can I do on a micro level that feels intentional and realistic? If you are experiencing this similar desire or need help discovering this sense of hope, let’s do that together. Let’s learn from each other.